C0D 2009 – Reflections

In the aftermath of the controversial 2009 COD in Mount Gambier, The Elegance put together some words of wisdom that still make interesting reading nearly 10 years on…..

“Well may we say ‘God Save the Queen’ because nothing will save the Governor-General”.

Great words from a man unceremoniously dumped from office in 1975.

As one of the outgoing members of the COD Executive (and a minor participant I must say, as the guts of the work performed to deliver the COD over the past 3 years has well and truly been shouldered by Jeff), I want to pass on my thoughts about all that was COD 2009 and specific events that occurred in the hope of some meaningful discussion that will lead to a great COD 2010.  I was planning on sending this out straight after the COD but time escaped me and the recent Emails re Pommy prompted me to return to this task.

From the golfing perspective, great improvements in form were observed.  I remember saying to Indahouse on the way down in the car (much to the bemusement of those present) that he had no hope of challenging for the Green Jacket.  Well he really stuck it up me and went so close to winning albeit for a massive effort from Nifty with a record that will stand for many years to come.  Other notable improvers were Mr. Joshua with a blinding 88 on the last day after no sleep.  Maybe he took his guidance from Jimmy Demerit’s effort in 2008.  Conversely, there were some shit performances – yours truly going from Amarillo Slim winning the Auld Mug last year to halfa-penis, the world’s most unfortunate man.  Also, the effort of Shuter McGavin must get special mention – a three time winner of the Green Jacket to shooting 106 of the last day – shithouse.

What can I say about the Victorian performance – if I was running the book, I would have had them 1 to 3 favourites to take out the Notcha Cup with SA at about 25/10.  Who would have thought that only 2 points would have been claimed (and we know who the SA contributor to this was).  Jimmy had a shocker with a final round of 100.

Enough about the golf and onto the events after the Sunday Awards Dinner.  I was “without speech”, “speechless” and “I had no speech” after the discussion by The Hoff.

Kudos goes to The Hoff for having the balls to speak his mind and that of a number of people.

There were a number of points raised:

  • We don’t want to be controlled
  • The COD has become too serious
  • We remember the early days of the COD and want it to be like that
  • It’s OK to piss over the greens and  bunkers of a country golf course

My thoughts on each issue:

We don’t want to be controlled

I am not sure as to what controls were placed on people.  I remember explaining the need on the first day for everyone to respect the accommodation and those staying there by “shutting the fuck up after hours”.  I don’t call that controlling, I call that common courtesy to everyone including COD attendees.  I remember having the owner of the Horsham accommodation visit us at 6am on the Saturday morning after some of our guys lost the plot on the Friday night.  Had it happened on the Saturday night, we would have all been booted out.

When someone loses the plot, the people who have to wear the Shit are the executive, not the perpetrators.

The COD has become too serious

As far as I am concerned, the only people the COD has become too serious for is the Executive.  Tony took the reins of the early CODs and looked for ways to improve it each year.  Jeff took over and further looked to enhance the event.  Both Presidents have put in a herculean effort to deliver great golfing weekends and have had to put up with a lot of shit from others along the way (I am as guilty as others when it comes to handing out the criticism).  The amount of effort to deliver a COD is massive.  I said to Jeff prior to the dinner that I would be standing down for 2010 and strongly recommended that he follow so that others could step up to the plate and we could just roll up and enjoy ourselves – just tell us where to be and what to do and we would be ecstatic.

If the “Jeff 2-stroke penalty” is the main driver for this, then I am flabbergasted.  Those involved, should have told him to f-off just as Dr. Tushy did to Scarface when Scarface hit him with a 2-stroke penalty for grounding his club in a bunker.

If the laptop and handicapping system are too serious, more than happy to piss it off.

Well done Hoff – we look forward to seeing your new incarnation of the COD in 2010.  Jeff and I are curious as to whether Murray Downs has been booked yet? Good luck if you wait until the last minute to book Murray Downs –  they have been full the last 3 March long weekends.

We remember the early days of the COD and want it to be like that

I was one of the original 10 “founding fathers” under the tutelage of Beelzebub back in 2003.  Only those that attended can truly testify to the great memories and bonds that were formed over that weekend.  I remember meeting on the first tee as the SA boys rolled in late and being introduced to Stryker, the Hoff, Fab and Jimmy to mention a few.  Mellen as usual invented and delivered games that he had an edge in – Rude Baseball, Oldsmobile, Tennis and Basketball.  Watching Stryker wear the snake for most of the weekend and still battle on was priceless.  The greatest memory from that event was tee-off on the last day where we organised the golf professional to announce the arrival of “Scarface Mellen” to the tee over the loud speaker.

I agree, the first COD was the best – it was new, the people unknown and friendships carefully forged ensured it to be.

It’s OK to piss over the greens and  bunkers of a country golf course

Call me a boring old fuck, if pissing over the greens and bunkers of a golf course is the level of behaviour that the COD has morphed into, leave me out.  Some poor bastard would have played on those greens later that day and rolled their ball through the remnants of the piss.  Probably would have licked any marks off the ball and never known that they participated in a mild golden shower.

My Final Thoughts

Here are some suggestions for next COD (I stole some from fellow SA boys and I know I have the impeached president’s support on most of this)

  • Get rid of the Golden Gonk and Neddy – all this promotes is Wanker-ism and attempts at one-upmanship.
  • Get rid of the Booze Cart on the Golf course – there are plenty of opportunities to get pulverised over the weekend.
  • Go back to the Spiritual Home – you’ve got my full support for a return to Murray Downs – everything you want in the one location and a mother of a golf course.
  • Reduce the number of prizes – too much crap to carry to the COD and as one golfer suggested – “I have 100’s of balls and don’t need any more” – still run with Swampy’s nearest the pin cash par 3’s
  • If we are going to have shirts, wear them for more than one day – depends on the BO factor though.
  • There was discussion re Saturday being a relaxing day – maybe a bowls challenge in the afternoon – great idea – allows people to do what they want during the morning and early afternoon
  • Remove the interstate challenge – I thought that the handicapping system would bring the two States into line but the SA boys keep improving and the VICs keep getting worse.
  • Play 2-ball ambrose on the Friday (suggest pairing up best and worst eg Nifty and Chav, then Inda and Pommy) and then have a 1 day COD shoot-out on the Sunday)
  • Accommodation – set the date and location and let people make their own bookings.  People can choose to stay 4 to a room or go up market and stay with whoever they please.  This way, if some dickhead plays up, they will be booted out and there will be no effect on others.

By the way – I still love ya’s all – just couldn’t leave it all up in the air.


The President’s ex-Bitch

2 thoughts on “C0D 2009 – Reflections”

  1. Classy, balanced and equanimitous … what we have come to expect from The Elegance

    And a far kinder response than the ungrateful little f.cknuckles deserved.

    Liked by 1 person

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